17th
LIGHTS.
Went to Gamma last night, rave. UM AMAZING? totally think its my 2nd favorite rave of all time. didnt think id have THAT much fun, but i did, and i met some pretty awesome people. the lights were soooo intense, the crowd was wild. def happy to see a scene sorta starting in cleveland. I cant get over some of the people I met, they were all just so amazing and wonderful, people that i could talk to forever and ever. its awesome to have that feeling of content.
Iv been so much happier latley. its fall, which is my season of being a crazie, i got a new job, which i LOVE so much, its so rewarding and fun, I work ALOT, but its worth it. i needed a change, and im the only person who can make that happen. iv been writing alot too, because thier are always series of changes in my life, that make up my life, so i doc them. DOC DEM LETTERS. also, GG5 is coming up in a week :] YAY!
Wanna hear something crazy? and this honestly hit me last night. i went to the rave with one of my friends thats a casual friend, the conversations were weird, he was mean to me, almost treating me like…scum. telling me to be quite and that im always wrong and i cant take directions. like, yes, im a women, a powerful one, but you dont need to downgrade me, im a human, i dont appreciate that, i didnt do anything to deserve it. so as soon as we entered the rave…i purposly lost him,drown myself in new friends and danced the night way. but inbetween all that, for a serious moment, i was walking around trying to find my best friend, because my best friend would never be mean to me, hes always there to listen, never judges, downgrades me or would treat me like scum, hes my comfort and security blanket, i needed him to be with me, and lay my head on his shoulder and for him to say everything is okay. i wanted to tell him funny stories that happened last night, i wanted him to meet all my new friends. i feel so lost without him. i never thought id ever take someone for granite, guess i didnt realize how important someone is until they are gone. i just about cried when i was writing this. i was aimlessly walking around TRYING to find someone that wasnt there. shows how much im attached to him. =/
